Me: Hello, my name's Brian and I'm a blogger.
Small anonymous crowd: * Hello Brian.*
Me: It's over a month since my last blog.
* Ripple of applause. *
Me: I meant to blog a couple of times a week but things like holidays and work got in the way.
* Quiet snort of derision, cunningly disguised as a sneeze. *
Me: I know I said I'd put some comics on eBay but I really didn't have the time.
* A few murmurs of 'yeah, right' and much head shaking. *
Me: I promise I will do the things I said I would do in the very near future.
* Phrases such as: Who are you kidding!? and 'Pull the other one, it's got sausages on it' emanate from the crowd.*
Me: I also promise to blog much more regularly.
* Shouts of 'I'll believe it when I read it!!' and 'Don't make promises you can't keep!' echo around the room. *
Me: Alright then, starting tomorrow, I'll show you....I'll finally list the comics on eBay I said I would about four weeks ago....I promise!!
* Raucous laughter and rolling around on the floor *
Me: Just wait......